Frozen Hearts
by angelofstargatesg-1
Summary: Takes place after "Lost City, Part 2" Sam comes to terms with her loss of Jack.


Damn it all. I know I haven't written in a long time, but hey. We're all busy people.  
  
SPOILERS: Lost City, Part 2  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Stargate, or the characters, or anything else.  
  
*~*~*  
  
*Frozen Hearts*  
  
Time.  
  
He had said something about time before.  
  
"Time is an illusion."   
  
It didn't matter to her anymore. Nothing matter anymore. Everyday just kind of blended into the next; she didn't know if it was Friday or Monday, and if you had asked what time it was, she would've just given you a blank stare.  
  
Gone.  
  
Her life was upside down, inside out, outside in- she couldn't tell anymore. Not that it mattered. He was gone. She had nothing to live for. It was like her heart had been ripped out and frozen along with him.  
  
Nothingness.  
  
She could've done something. She blamed herself for it. If she had only done this, if she had only done that. Daniel said that he HAD to do it. That there was no other way. She told him no, she was the Great Samantha Carter, the brains of SG-1, she'd figure something out. Never again.  
  
Frozen.  
  
She had touched the ice. It was so cold, and he had looked so alone. Like there was nothing left for him. The last time that he had almost frozen, she had been there. She had helped to keep him alive. She couldn't do anything now. It was too late.  
  
Late.  
  
Being late had never bothered him.  
  
He had always been late to the debriefings- just when she thought that he wasn't coming, there he was in his shining glory.  
  
Her, on the other hand. She was ALWAYS on time. Never even a minute late. She prided herself on being on time.  
  
Now. . . now it didn't matter. Time was an illusion.  
  
Control.  
  
"There must be something we can do. We just can't leave him like this."  
  
She had tried so hard and fought so powerfully all of her life to keep control. And just when she thought she had a hold of it, it slipped from her rasp and she was sent spiraling back into blackness.   
  
He had always pulled her out of it- the blackness. Now who would help her?  
  
Alone.  
  
She was completely and utterly alone. Her best friend was dead. Her father couldn't even visit her because his half-people were going to revolt against him. And the only man she had ever truly loved was gone.  
  
Daniel said she shouldn't think of him as dead- that he was just resting for now, since that was what he had said himself in the first place. Rest.   
  
She couldn't help but think of him as dead. Everyday she woke up, and the place next to her was empty. There was no extra toothbrush in her cup holder, there was no shaving cream on her counter. No boxed-sets of the Simpson's lined her floor by the T.V.  
  
He was gone and had left her alone. How would she survive? How could she go on?  
  
There was nothing for her.  
  
Hope.  
  
She remembered that feeling. Hope- it was like a box of chocolate or a beautiful flower. It was the cry of a newborn baby and the dawn of the morning sun on two sleeping lovers.  
  
She remembered having hope before- hope for the future, hope for tomorrow, hope for. .   
  
Love.  
  
"Love is grand."  
  
Someone famous had said that. She wasn't sure who. And whoever had said it sure as hell had never been in love.   
  
Love broke your heart and tore you to pieces. It threw out every reasonable thinking process that you knew you had and replaced it with thoughts that you would've never had, had it not been for love.  
  
Love tripped you up and broke your arm. It smacked you on the back and then kissed you. Try and hide from love all you want, but it will always find you before you even finish hiding.  
  
She couldn't imagine him not being there, but every time she turned the corner, or went into his office, expecting him to be there, he wasn't. Every time she asked for jello from the commissary, every time she said "For cryin' out loud!", she thought of him.   
  
Even when he was gone he was still there.  
  
Even when she thought that there was no hope, there was some.   
  
Even though she loved him, she still couldn't have saved him.  
  
Her heart was frozen and there was no turning back.  
  
*~*~*  
  
  
  
That was one of the worst endings to a Stargate episode ever!!!! It did give me inspiration, but that's not the point! What a cliffhanger. . . 


End file.
